Oh blog how I have missed you!

Living in the third world (ok rural-ish New Zealand) means that our internet is less than perfect. Indeed it is s*%t! I am so thankful for my phone which allows me to check and post on FB regularly but there is nothing quite like the stream of consciousness of a blog post to put the world to rights and keep my head on the lines!

So here I sit, post Christmas, on the deck, with 'The Waking Dead' on DVD (I am so glad Egg finally found himself a good job!), nail varnish at the ready, an hour of gardening done, and what looks like a full set of internet bars!

Christmas is always a difficult time of year for me. Being bipolar means it is easy to be overwhelmed by everything, the need to have everything perfect, for everyone to be happy. This year has been no exception! And having two extra mouths to feed has made it even more difficult! We have two lovely awesome windsurfing instructors staying with us. That I have been able to cope with the lack of privacy and space is testament to how awesome they are. It has also proven to me that I would have LOVED more kids. A table set for 6 has been wonderful! With Katy being a vegetarian I have had to think more but it also means we have been eating less meat as a family (yes even sausage boy).

My christmas day was great. Talked to my mom via Skype for the first time, so she saw the kids for the first time in four years!!!! Breakfast was great-pancakes for them and eggs benedict for me. A few too many bucks fizzes perhaps but hey!!!!

I spent most of the day alone in the kitchen as the kids watched dvds and played computer games, the other kids went out on the jetski and then spent the rest of the day trying to mend the jetski. I cooked, I chilled! Duck with orange sauce, perfect veg, sticky toffee pudding. Strangely I felt at peace. Just as well, since my other half was strangely absent and in a very odd place. Proud of myself for not rising to the bait.

The kids had a good day. Caitlin spent the whole day in her new 'It's so FLUFFY" dressing gown with a look of pure joy on her face! There were new phones to play with, a little chocolate to eat and family to enjoy!

I seem to be spending a lot of time, reevaluating. Where am I at? Where do I want to be? I have breathed. I have been centred and calm. So I hope the internet will play ball and let me remind myself of where I am going.

Merry Christmas y'all

Hugs