I WILL BLOG, I WILL, I WILL!!!!!

So anyway, bipolardom hit for a while there. Occasional alcohol (a glass of wine) plus irregular meds plus annoying teenage lodgers who never go out, follow me round the house like lost puppies, leave clothes EVERYWHERE and have to score points at every turn... lead to meltdown, anxiety,lots of tears and a slightly worrying need to spend money on cool stuff. Worrying for hubby not me you understand.
This usually manifests itself in embroidery patterns and the occasional book. So this splurge included these:

The wonderful Meredith of Hardcorestitchcorps designed this and has added "Ashcroft Family Guidelines" to the bottom. Not rules you understand, we don't have those... we prefer 'guidelines' ( and Pirates!) I haven't started this yet-still have a Mackintosh rose to finish but I did make this...

Meet Meowby Dick from the fabulous Megan at studiomme. She is the most amazing artist and has created kits from her drawings. I love how plump Meowby is. It took ages to transfer all the little lines (in fact not sure I got them all) but only a night to stitch-gotta love stab stitch. And he is gorgeous! If only I could find my hot glue gun he would be on the wall-glue for the felt backing, not to attach him to the wall. I'd love to have a go at her other kits but they are rather more daunting...next meltdown maybe!

Talking of next time, THIS is in my etsy basket to be purchased sometime. I just love everything about it and it is so me!

This is by the megafamous Emily Peacock. So now you know what to buy me for a present ;-)

The last couple of days have been weird. We have had a long weekend for Waitangi Day, though the kids and I ended up cleaning the house, wandering to Huia to walk the dog and get ice cream, and planning for school on Wednesday (they are great laminators, my two, and will be rented out for a fee).

However, yesterday and today have gone really slowly, in the sense that we/I have achieved a lot but in a shorter time than usual. We finished all our jobs yesterday and it was only 4.30 though it felt like 7pm. either we are being ultra efficient of I am cycling a bit fast (mentally that is, I am still only running!) and therefore getting lots done. For example, today I took the kids to school, went to the post office and the bank, returned Reuben's blow up chair for a replacement, ran 10k, came home, listed stuff on trademe, sent a couple of emails, polished all the wood on the stairs (in readiness for the visit of the grandmothers), made tea, had lunch and wrote my blog...and it is still only 1.13pm. 

Long may it continue!

Mind you even if it doesn't, I have discovered that lemsip cold and flu remedy is very good at creating an artificial chemical high not unlike the superhuman feeling of mania. Bit scary and totally by accident. And we won the weekly quiz that night... 

So what to do next...?

You can probably tell why I hate the internet here!

The last post was supposed to have 5 photos in it! These would have included the cake, the mirrored room, the heap of shopping bags and my beautiful girl aged 14. Instead ( I think) we got two photos of my girl aged about 7, in the wrong place. AND I CAN"T EDIT IT COZ THE ^&*%^$&$ INTERNET CONNECTION WON"T LOAD ENOUGH!!!!!!!

If I find a friendly Mc Donalds, I may try again!!! Dear God, I am dependent on a fast food chain for my internet fix, what is the world coming to?!

Keeping up the habit...

Today my beautiful baby girl turned 14.

For many years we have been saying, in slightly embarrassing situations, that we would ‘tell her when she is 14’. That day has dawned and, thankfully, she can’t remember what is was we were supposed to be telling her. Frankly she knows it all already!

We spent the day shopping (mostly full price things, though a few sales and discounts proved to be helpful). Skirts, tops, jeans, a jacket, two pairs of chucks(great sale) and one happy daughter!

Her birthday cake was amazing-triple layers of chocolate and decorated with little muffins courtesy of Katy and Robin. The health kick begins again in earnest tomorrow-although how that is going to work in Rotorua I am not sure! I decided to take the kids away for a rest from ‘the beach, hubby’s illness, the crowded house and, in  my case, all the cooking and cleaning’. Hubby has of course decided he wants to come too ( and was a little put out when the kids looked disappointed-I think they were looking forward to the freedom of just being). We will get a few days on our own in Taupo so all will be well!

The weather has really been crap this holiday so the windsurfing business is not going well and our lodgers and their boss are bored. The family decided to escape for a day and headed into the city. I wanted to go to the zoo but was overruled by hubby (you may begin to understand why I was hoping that three of us could have an adventure!). We ended up going to the New and Improved Auckland Art Gallery. It  has been being renovated since we arrived in New Zealand and was finally unveiled a few weeks ago. It is truly stunning. The building itself is a work of art and the range and variety of the exhibits is breathtaking. From Picasso to Burne Jones, from Gainsborough to Bridget Riley, from found objects to traditional Maori portraits by Goldie, there was something amuse, beguile and fascinate every member of the family.

The consensus favoured one particular exhibit-a room of mirrors (the name of which I will find when my internet connection is working well enough to surf efficiently)

It was just like being in an elevator shaft, thousands of floors up, with each floor repeating and repeating above and below.

And then there is running! I finally decided upon a marathon schedule by Hal Higden, 20 weeks building up to a marathon, building up gently from three miles three times a week and a 6 miles long run, to a long run of 20 miles, a few half marathons and lots of shorter runs. The schedule is already on the fridge and being coloured in, purple for runs and yellow for cross training. Molly and I ran the pipeline in Titirangi on Monday (including a new path I had never seen before) and then we tackled the dam hill. That is a run heading out from our house towards Titirangi. After one kilometre you reach the lower Nihotopu Dam and the Huia road stretches uphill for a kilometre. The first 400 metres is hell but once you reach the footpath at that point it levels out for a while then you push to the top. I have managed to run it in one go about three time, just before the Christchurch marathon in 2010, so was quite pleased when we only stopped twice on the ascent. A good foundation to build on. It also means that I can get hill work in and run lots of circuits from home rather than having to drive and find a route. The hill isn’t that scary anymore, just hard work. I DO know that that hill really helped my leg strength when I did Chch and I am hoping it will do the same this time.

I cross trained today, using the Wii Active 2 programme which is remarkably good for a console fitness programme; lots of squats, lunges and interactive games to keep things interesting and only 20 minutes at a time (though I did 2 workouts today).

Just got to keep up the pattern. I love having an aim and something to strive for. I am already thinking about raising some money for charity, which has to be the Alzheimers society both here and in the UK. I just need to be sure I can cope with the physical side of things so I m going to wait a few weeks before I commit myself and actually enter the event! So far so good, taking it slowly, I have no niggles and just slight muscle tiredness-walking round the malls does that to a girl!

Creatively I have returned to my small Provence quilt. The sleeve is ready to hang it but I have to finish the quilting. I was going to do the quilting by machine but did a little decorative stitching by hand and found it therapeutic so I will carry on by hand and see how far I get. Still don’t have a dowel for the larger quilt yet, though I have a little one for my small project! Typical!

I am so enjoying these posts, even though they are fairly superficial. Hope those of you reading don’t mind. I am just getting back into the swing and my head seems quite stable so hopefully this habit will persist.

Hugs

xx

A new beginning and some finishes.

New Year's Day always strikes me as being a little odd. I mean it is the start of a brand new year, a clean slate and generally we wake up tired, lethargic, hung over etc etc. Hardly the right attitude with which to face the new year!

The weather again decided not to come to the party so the wind surfing business was on hiatus-Katy spent the day making cakes for my Caitlin's birthday and cluttering up my kitchen! Robin spent the day avoiding helping Katy and playing on the Xbox with Reuben and anton slouched in front of the tv (until I got him to help make tea!)

I did stuff! I cleared out two huge drawers of random pens, pieces of paper, objet d'art and other miscellaneous ephemera. I seem to be in a decluttering mood-only usually one thing a day, but today was special hence two drawers!

I finished IQ84 by Haruki Murakami at lunchtime. I have spent ages reading this, maybe a chapter a night, but loved every second of it. He is such a great story teller and I really cared about the main protagonists from very early on. I shall miss Tengo and Aomame. They have been a part of my day for some time now.

Another big achievement of the day...drum roll please... I finally finished my first ever quilt. Ok so I only had to sew a sleeve on the back so I could hang it up but I finally got round to doing it and it is currently, albeit temporarily, up on the wall. I told hubby I was going to get a piece of dowel  to hang it from and he disappeared, returning with a length of 'mostly straight' bamboo from the garden. Worth a try just to see if my sleeve was strong enough!

Frankly it needs a dowel. The bamboo has a major kink in it and the quilt doesn't hang straight! However when I said this to hubby, he replied, 'It wouldn't look right if it was straight. It would highlight the fact that the sewing isn't straight. It looks rustic this way!" I am going out tomorrow to buy a long piece of dowel and a shovel!!!!!!!!

I am proud of my quilt. It has embroidered bits which I loved doing and it was a steep learning curve. I can now see all my mistakes and what I would do differently but hey, everyone has to start some where!


I have spent the day wearing my new trainers, getting used to them and checking the fit. I really need to get some running socks. My chunky ones from Countdown just won't cut it! I am now looking for a marathon training schedule-can't find last year's and didn't stick to it anyway!

I am going to need to watch what I eat too. I started with good intentions today (don't we all ?) and probably did ok-cereal,coffee, banana and honey on toast for lunch, decent portion of curry, dhal and rice for tea but I so need to move the marshmallows out of the house, especially when I am pissed off with hubby (see above for details!). I really hope the motivation of running a marathon will keep me mindful of the need for decent fuel!

So now, could cross stitch, could stitch another sleeve on another quilt-which is far from finished but again might be a motivating factor... let's see...

Hugs
x

Bring it on!

2011 has, in many respects, been an odd year. Over dinner we had to think of three things that we were thankful for, happy about, proud of or had enjoyed in the last twelve months.

I have a lot to be thankful for. At the beginning of the year I was seeing a psychologist who really helped me to think about my behaviours and be mindful of my mood swings. When Anton noted (at dinner today) that he was proud of how much I had taken ownership of my feelings this year and how much stronger I seemed to him, I knew I had made progress. It is almost as though I can watch the negative thoughts coming in now, often memories of stupid things I have done in the past come back to haunt me, and basically I can tell them to 'SOD OFF' usually in a very loud voice!! That's a big advance for me. I still have a long way to go but I am still learning.

I am so proud of my kids. Not just my own kids who are the most awesomest, creative, caring, beautiful, thoughtful, intelligent... well you get the gist...but also the lovely GKP class I had the honour of spending time with. This year I made a point of going to all their prize givings and celebrations and they were joyful occasions.  I may find my job hard but it has so many benefits! Oh and of course my two lovely children are the best of the bunch!!!!!

You can just see Reuben's head so both my kids are on here!

Physically it has been a rough year. I tore my calf muscle in February and it took so long to recover. To be honest it was my own fault. I hadn't prepared enough for a race and hadn't taken into account the fact that I am getting older and it takes longer to recover these days. As a result I am finishing the year far less fit than I would like to be and considerably heavier. But all this will change.

This could be a hugely long post but perhaps now isn't the time. Just for now a few things to point the way into the New Year.

1. The adorable Hayley Lowe has suggested running the Wellington Marathon in June. She suggested this today just as I was looking for new trainers. So guess what I am doing tomorrow. I am beginning a new four month training plan. I WILL RUN ANOTHER MARATHON THIS YEAR! There I have said it!!!

2. I am going to carry on learning Italian. I have enjoyed it and I want to improve. It is not something I find easy which is why it is such a challenge but I will meet it head on.

3. MY MOM IS COMING TO VISIT FOR THE FIRST TIME!!!!!

4. I will sew. I will embroider and I will try to create some individual pieces (thinking about dogs, cats, mental health and alzheimers as topics). I need a sketch book to get all the ideas down.

a possible model?

5. I will blog as regularly as the internet will allow (at least once a week) if only to record the running progress!

6. I will take each day as it comes!

As the internet is playing ball I have been surfing a while and found some lovely things that have inspired me!

Bought this already from studiomme

Came across this today and felt inspired. Check out the etsy shop for details of  SometimesIswirl

Hugs xxxx

It's raining!

It's raining and humid. Everything feels damp! Even the pets are suffering. The cats don't know what to do with themselves and the dog is lethargic (nothing new there then).

Where is the NZ summer? Oh yes that was Boxing Day I believe.

Oh well we spent 4 man hours cleaning and tidying today (one hour, four people, one cleanish house) and I managed to clear out all the drawers in the Welsh dresser-found a few things that have been missing for YEARS!!!!

Then we went off for an exciting shop. I had bought the boy a Kinect for his xbox 360 (a rather late in the day adoption and only coz of an amazing sale deal). The console is attached to an old British TV complete with UK plug and as you have to stand a distance away for the sensor to read you, the screen is a little hard to read. So I saved $100 on the kinect and hubby spent $1000 on a new tv. The argument was that it had to be LED and it had to be HD etc etc etc. I stopped listening after he passed by the $400 sets. Ho hum!

AS there wasn't room in the car for four of us and a tv, I had to take my car too so C and I went shopping together and left the boys to it! My darling daughter bought the cutest dress ever. There will be a photo to share soon. I just have to catch her.

Inspite of the weather, my head is doing OK. I have a cross stitch to work on (an other Rennie Mackintosh pillow-photo to follow- which is keeping me centred, especially when the gorgeous windsurfing Katy takes a swig of Red Bull and proceeds to swing off the ceiling!

Calmness abounds! Mostly because I don't have to cook tomorrow = )

Hugs!

Oh blog how I have missed you!

Living in the third world (ok rural-ish New Zealand) means that our internet is less than perfect. Indeed it is s*%t! I am so thankful for my phone which allows me to check and post on FB regularly but there is nothing quite like the stream of consciousness of a blog post to put the world to rights and keep my head on the lines!

So here I sit, post Christmas, on the deck, with 'The Waking Dead' on DVD (I am so glad Egg finally found himself a good job!), nail varnish at the ready, an hour of gardening done, and what looks like a full set of internet bars!

Christmas is always a difficult time of year for me. Being bipolar means it is easy to be overwhelmed by everything, the need to have everything perfect, for everyone to be happy. This year has been no exception! And having two extra mouths to feed has made it even more difficult! We have two lovely awesome windsurfing instructors staying with us. That I have been able to cope with the lack of privacy and space is testament to how awesome they are. It has also proven to me that I would have LOVED more kids. A table set for 6 has been wonderful! With Katy being a vegetarian I have had to think more but it also means we have been eating less meat as a family (yes even sausage boy).

My christmas day was great. Talked to my mom via Skype for the first time, so she saw the kids for the first time in four years!!!! Breakfast was great-pancakes for them and eggs benedict for me. A few too many bucks fizzes perhaps but hey!!!!

I spent most of the day alone in the kitchen as the kids watched dvds and played computer games, the other kids went out on the jetski and then spent the rest of the day trying to mend the jetski. I cooked, I chilled! Duck with orange sauce, perfect veg, sticky toffee pudding. Strangely I felt at peace. Just as well, since my other half was strangely absent and in a very odd place. Proud of myself for not rising to the bait.

The kids had a good day. Caitlin spent the whole day in her new 'It's so FLUFFY" dressing gown with a look of pure joy on her face! There were new phones to play with, a little chocolate to eat and family to enjoy!

I seem to be spending a lot of time, reevaluating. Where am I at? Where do I want to be? I have breathed. I have been centred and calm. So I hope the internet will play ball and let me remind myself of where I am going.

Merry Christmas y'all

Hugs